Well we have had to push the cycle back to the original plan of June. It was a combination of sickness, funky period, and financial.
I was kind of upset about it at first..okay really upset..but now I am okay with it..It gives me more time to lose weight and save more money. I know that when it happens it will be perfect timing and it will be Gods plan.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Fear and Excitement
I haven't really taken much time to just write lately. And I do have a lot to write about..or at least I feel I do. Of course there is the excitement that comes with doing IVF and we are really thrilled about the opportunity and I am totally ecstatic that we got to be in the April cycle..though admittedly Paul isn't quite as thrilled mostly because the due date would fall 'right in the middle of duck season'..that is true to his nature I guess..and I love him for it.
But there is a fear present too. The fear of it not working. The fear that we will have spent all this money for nothing..well not for nothing but without success. My faith in the good Lord has gotten me here, to this place, has carried me through some dark places and some times when I wasn't sure about anything and I know that I have to continue to trust in God but I am scared.
Part of me is scared that it wont work and for financial reasons I know that my husband will likely never let me do it again but part of me is afraid that if it doesn't work I will be angry with God again, the way I was at the beggining of this struggle to concieve. I don't want to blame God, question Him, be angry with Him. I want this to work. I want to give my husband a child. I want to be a family.
But lets face it parenting is hard or rather is going to be hard. I am also scared about all the possibilities that are there if we are successful. I believe we are ready, or as ready as anyone can be, but I am still scared. What if we do it wrong? What if..what if..what if..I know I could do it all day. I am excited, thrilled, happy, nervous and anxious.
I am going to continue to pray that God will bless us with a child to love and when parenting gets hard and I start to question myself I will pray to God for strength, wisdom and guidance in that moment..but I want to get there first!
But there is a fear present too. The fear of it not working. The fear that we will have spent all this money for nothing..well not for nothing but without success. My faith in the good Lord has gotten me here, to this place, has carried me through some dark places and some times when I wasn't sure about anything and I know that I have to continue to trust in God but I am scared.
Part of me is scared that it wont work and for financial reasons I know that my husband will likely never let me do it again but part of me is afraid that if it doesn't work I will be angry with God again, the way I was at the beggining of this struggle to concieve. I don't want to blame God, question Him, be angry with Him. I want this to work. I want to give my husband a child. I want to be a family.
But lets face it parenting is hard or rather is going to be hard. I am also scared about all the possibilities that are there if we are successful. I believe we are ready, or as ready as anyone can be, but I am still scared. What if we do it wrong? What if..what if..what if..I know I could do it all day. I am excited, thrilled, happy, nervous and anxious.
I am going to continue to pray that God will bless us with a child to love and when parenting gets hard and I start to question myself I will pray to God for strength, wisdom and guidance in that moment..but I want to get there first!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Thankful
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7
This verse speaks to me now more than ever before. I am so thankful to God just for the opportunity that he has given to me and my husband. I know that He listens when I pray and He is acting in my life everyday.
This verse speaks to me now more than ever before. I am so thankful to God just for the opportunity that he has given to me and my husband. I know that He listens when I pray and He is acting in my life everyday.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Appointment Update
The water ultrasound was painful but I think mostly because I wasn't expecting it to hurt..mostly cramps I guess. I was glad that Breezy was there with me to ask questions because I just kind of went blank..I always do in the Drs office..Anyways Dr. Foulk said that he saw nothing in my uterus that was abnormal which I was glad for. I was so nervous before the appt but he was great and very patient.
We did decide to go ahead with the IVF cycle in April! (happy dance) I couldn't be more excited! I am so greatful to God for hearing my prayers and giving me a chance.
Here is my protocol so far:
BCP- March 16-April 4
Antibiotics- March 26-April 4
Lupron Shots- March 30- until advised of new protocol around time of retrieval
Bravelle and Menopur shots- April 9- until advised of new protocol around time of retrieval
Appointments:
Baseline U/S April 8
Blood Draw April 14
Ultrasound April 16
Ultrasound April 17
Ultrasound April 18
Dates they gave me based on their averages:
Egg Retrieval (tenative) April 20th
3 day transfer or CONSULT (consult on progress of embryo development) April 23
5 day transfer April 25
**Again the above dates are subject to change depending on how stuff goes I will keep everyone posted and up to date!**
We did decide to go ahead with the IVF cycle in April! (happy dance) I couldn't be more excited! I am so greatful to God for hearing my prayers and giving me a chance.
Here is my protocol so far:
BCP- March 16-April 4
Antibiotics- March 26-April 4
Lupron Shots- March 30- until advised of new protocol around time of retrieval
Bravelle and Menopur shots- April 9- until advised of new protocol around time of retrieval
Appointments:
Baseline U/S April 8
Blood Draw April 14
Ultrasound April 16
Ultrasound April 17
Ultrasound April 18
Dates they gave me based on their averages:
Egg Retrieval (tenative) April 20th
3 day transfer or CONSULT (consult on progress of embryo development) April 23
5 day transfer April 25
**Again the above dates are subject to change depending on how stuff goes I will keep everyone posted and up to date!**
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Hydrosonogram on Monday
Next monday I have an appointment for a hydrosonogram; a water ultrasound to check for ANYTHING on or in my uterus that could prevent implantation or prevent me from carrying a pregnancy to term. Immediately following the ultrasound we will have a meeting with the financial advisor to make a financial plan and to schedule for sure our IVF cycle.
Its kind of like the first real step toward our cycle. We will get all of our protocol and timelines and steps to take before June. I am getting soooo excited! Paul may come with me and if he doesn't then Breezy will come..she will be more help I think as far as remembering to ask the doctor questions..
June needs to hurry and get here!
In the mean time I am still dieting and working out and Breeze and I are 'buddies' online at myfitnesspal.com so we can track eachother and motivate eachother..its fun..its nice to have someone to do it with.
Its kind of like the first real step toward our cycle. We will get all of our protocol and timelines and steps to take before June. I am getting soooo excited! Paul may come with me and if he doesn't then Breezy will come..she will be more help I think as far as remembering to ask the doctor questions..
June needs to hurry and get here!
In the mean time I am still dieting and working out and Breeze and I are 'buddies' online at myfitnesspal.com so we can track eachother and motivate eachother..its fun..its nice to have someone to do it with.
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